Resonance in Couple and Family Therapy

Name of Concept

Resonances in Couples and Families

Introduction

In his book If You Love Me, Don’t Love Me (1990, p. 138), Mony Elkaïm defines resonances as “those special assemblages created by the intersection of different systems that include the same elements. Different human systems seem to enter into resonance from the effect of a common element in the same way that material bodies can begin to vibrate from the effect of a given frequency.”

Theoretical Context for the Concept, Description, and Clinical Example

In the functioning of the resonance principle, each member of the couple can, on some specific topics, feel torn between her/his “world view” and her/his “official program.”

The world view is the way in which we build a personal belief further to the repetition of certain given experiences throughout our history. This world view can be, to various degrees, in opposition with our conscious expectations, which constitute what Elkaïm calls the “official program.”

For example,...