Backing Out

Abstract

Nan’s experience of trying to back out was fairly typical. Up until this point, she collaborated with her contact, obeying his requests that she not leave the hotel without him and undertaking the difficult task of swallowing a very large quantity of capsules. Until now, Nan’s participation could be described as more or less voluntary, but mechanisms of control only became visible when she tried to back out. At first, her contact tried to assuage her fears by reassuring her it was safe to travel and that she would successfully pass the x-ray. Then he explained that they had spent money on her ticket, which she would owe them if she returned without the drugs. Although their persuasion may have become more desperate (‘they’re pushing me out of the country!’), no direct threats were made. Instead, Nan drew on racial stereotypes about her contacts and drug trafficker myths about the violence that would ensue. At this point, it became clear that she could not choose not to continue. Nan’s narrative is therefore one of resignation: having agreed to traffic, she saw little option but to carry on. This final chapter examines what happened when mules attempted to back out. Doing so brings into focus the blurry boundary between mules’ collaboration and contacts’ control.

That night, I was dreaming about police everywhere, and I didn’t want to go. They said, ‘No, you have to go, you can pass the x-ray’ I didn’t want to go but they took me in a taxi to the airport

JF: What happened when you tried to back out?

N: He said, ‘You have to go. You can’t do thinking now!’ They’re pushing me out of the country! They said I have to go because they already sent you, spent money on you for the ticket for nothing … all this. [He said the ticket cost $3000] I just do what I’m told. I don’t want to be here anymore. I took the choice to be here already, and that’s what I have to do. It’s lots of money for the ticket: if I go back without the drugs, I think they’re gonna kill me.

JF: Did they ever say that to you?

N: No, they don’t say, but I knew from my country: African people [her contact was African] are working with the police and the mafia. If you make them spend money for nothing, they’re gonna put you in trouble.