Coaching for Leverage: Helping Clients to Manage Priorities, Time, Energy, and Resources

Abstract

This example seems extreme, yet many people who describe their commitments do so in the same kind of breathless rush, running through lists of “to do’s,” creating mental piles of commitments. As coaches, we meet people like this young woman frequently—high achievers who have gotten far in life by exceeding expectations. Eventually, they achieve a level of challenge that forces them to face up to the limitations of time, energy, and resources. There are too many priorities. Everything is urgent. Nothing can be set aside or removed from the towering stack of “must-do’s.” At this point, an individual realizes that something is terribly wrong. “I can’t go on like this,” one of my clients said recently. “Even when I accomplish something important, there are three more things I haven’t gotten to. I need help sorting out my priorities and finding some work/life balance.”

The young woman is perched on the edge of her chair in my office. Her face is pale, shoulders slumped. She emanates stress as she describes a crushing list of deadlines and commitments, and I have the sense that she might jump up any minute and run out the door to get back to work. “The worst part,” she tells me, looking distraught, “is that I fainted at work last week and again during the weekend. I went to the hospital for blood tests, but they didn’t find anything. The doctor said that I have to deal with my stress.” As I listened to her, I noticed that, when she finished speaking, she held her breath. I counted silently to see how long she would hold it. After about ten seconds, she spoke. “I don’t know what to do. I need this job, but I have no work/life balance.” Again she held her breath. “Are you aware that you’re holding your breath?” I asked her. “No!” she said, startled. As I described my observation, she began to smile. “Are you telling me that the reason I fainted is that I’m holding my breath?” “Could be,” I said. “Would you mind observing this to see if it is happening consistently?” Three days later, she called. “Yes. I’m holding my breath all the time. I have so much going on at work and outside of work that I seem to just keep bracing myself by holding my breath.”