Clayton’s Support

Abstract

I introduce here what I have termed ‘Clayton’s support’, that is, the support you get when you are not getting support (Vickers, 2005b). This concept borrows from the advertising campaign for a nonalcoholic beverage called Clayton’s, where consumers were encouraged to indulge in the drink they could have when not having an alcoholic drink. Clayton’s support can be observed as lack of support, withdrawn support, support anticipated but not received, as well as unsupportive and unhelpful behaviour from those in the social network.¹ Parents of children with chronic conditions exist simultaneously within several social networks (eg family, school, community and healthcare) (Garwick et al, 1998: 666). Given that the most beneficial forms of social support are those that match the needs elicited by the particular stressor (Ingram et al, 2001: 174), witnessing Clayton’s support was most troubling. Unfortunately, all respondents confirmed the existence of Clayton’s support; from partners, family, friends, colleagues, or professionals working with their child. The gap between anticipated or desired support was evident in both work- and home-related circumstances. Where a gulf existed between what support might have been expected — or what had been promised — and what actually transpired, problems emerged. An example of unsupportive behaviour reported by Cate — and illuminated in the data poem above — was that of her husband avoiding communicating with her about their son, William, and his autism.

He Thinks It’s My Fault

In the beginning it was really hard

A lot of worries, hard times, after William was diagnosed

We didn’t talk about it — we still haven’t

My husband, he thinks it’s my fault.

(Cate, Interview 1: 14–15)