Gender, Intimacy Styles and Skills

Abstract

This chapter examines and critically reviews evidence suggesting that there are marked differences in the ways men and women approach intimacy. Among others, Tannen (1992, 2002) and Baron-Cohen (2004) have argued that men and women differ in terms of their respective conversational styles, their ability to talk, listen and empathise and thus to support and encourage personal closeness or intimacy. Clearly, the presence of such abilities and skills is necessary for creating the kind of mutual self-disclosure on which modern intimacy is based (Giddens 1992). So it is important to assess the validity of claims that men and women differ in their capacities for intimacy. The view adopted here is that such claims are questionable on various grounds and I outline two strands of argument in support of this position.