Abelard to Heloise

Abstract

Four topics, I recall, make up the whole of your last letter, in which you have made very clear the distress you have suffered. First of all, you complain that my putting your name before my own in the salutation of the letter I sent you is contrary to the custom in letter-writing and even against the natural order of things. Second, you say that when I should have comforted you, I have instead added to your desolation and provoked the tears I should have dried. And you quote my request “that if the Lord deliver me into their hands, so that prevailing against me they kill me,” etc. Third, you bring up your old and unceasing complaint against God, I mean, about the circumstances of our conversion to him and the cruelty of that treacherous outrage to my body. Finally, you counter my praise of you with accusations against yourself and an urgent request that I should no longer be so presumptuous. I have decided to reply to each of these points in turn, not so much to justify myself as to instruct you and urge you to agree more willingly to what I ask, as you come to realize that it is reasonable. I hope that you will be more willing to listen to me in those matters that concern you, as you find me less to blame in my own affairs, and that you will be more hesitant to criticize me when you see that I am less deserving of reproach.

To the bride of Christ from his servant.