The Call to Individuation

Abstract

I’m at the beginning of my Doctoral studies, although it doesn’t feel like it. Already I feel I’ve been buried inside my mind juggling ideas, talking philosophy to my friends and perched in front of the computer for years; the reality is that it’s been seven months. I received a scholarship to do a creative Ph.D. and I’m at that stage where everybody says “Oh it’s so exciting.” Being isolated at home totally reliant on myself for stimulation doesn’t feel exciting; at the moment it feels terrifying. I seem to feel tired a great deal of the time and try as I might at this stage in the process, I can’t seem to disembark from riding the emotional rollercoaster, the one with the catch signature “What am I doing?” painted along the side. In fact that’s the one question I dread people asking me: “What are you doing your Ph.D. on?”