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The Feelings of the Men: Looking into an Inner World

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Online Dating as A Strategic Game

Abstract

In the last three chapters, we have presented data on what are factual and observable. By using the factual and observable data, we have explained how the men play the chasing game. This chapter attempts to dig deeper to address the “why” questions and the feelings of the men: “Why are the men doing this and how do they feel when they are doing this?” To answer these questions, two sources of information are used—data from the forum and interviews, which are then analyzed with insights from social exchange theories and sociology of emotions. Eight questions will be discussed in this chapter.

In online relationships, it is easier to find plenty of available alternatives — obtaining them has more to do with creative imagination than with investing actual resources. When a person in a romantic relationship has many desired alternatives, the likelihood of the current relationship enduring is reduced. And vice versa: situations where no attractive alternatives are available cause us to appreciate our current situation more. The many attractive online alternatives available in cyberspace make an existing online relationship less valued.

—(Ben-Ze’ev 2004, p. 157).

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Notes

  1. 1.

    A bone girl works in a massage house or sauna who often provides sex services.

  2. 2.

    One-night stand.

  3. 3.

    The meaning of “Densha Otoko” is explained in the footnote on p. 68.

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Choi, M.Kt., Chan, Kb. (2013). The Feelings of the Men: Looking into an Inner World. In: Online Dating as A Strategic Game. Springer, Berlin, Heidelberg. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-642-39985-5_7

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