Abstract
Nowadays, couple therapists need to be able to treat infidelity. Research shows that in Western culture, 55% of couples that have an important relationship outside that of the main couple which is discovered or revealed end up separating and/or getting divorced. New technologies enable multiple forms of contact and control in dual relationships. Balancing freedom, mystery, togetherness, differentiation, responsibility, transparency, and privacy is extremely complex and complicated. Historically, the domestic-secure environment has always been separate from the erotic-adventurous environment, but today, modern couple relationship models can combine both.
We consider an (extramarital) affair to be an emotional solution to an emotional problem. Assigning the dynamics of a lover, husband, and wife to the roles of victim, guilty perpetrator, and a third person clearly oversimplifies the issue. However, the experience of a person cheating on their partner is nevertheless highly traumatic in the majority of cases.
Working with competence and sensitivity may help regain confidence and reconstruct a couple’s relationship. This chapter offers diagnostic key concepts and specific techniques based on the bio-psycho-social model of mutual confirmation required in couple relationships.
This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.
Access this chapter
Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout
Purchases are for personal use only
References
Bauman, Z. (2005). Amor líquido: Acerca de la fragilidad de los vínculos humanos. Buenos Aires: Fondo de Cultura Económica.
Doherty, W. (2011). In or out? Treating the mixed-agenda couple. Psychotherapy Networker. Recuperado de https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/article/315/in-or-out.
Gottman, J. M. (2015). 10 principles for doing effective couples therapy. New York: Norton.
Kreuz, A., & Gammer, C. (1989). La Terapia Familiar Fásica: Un modelo flexible de intervención. Informació Psicológica, Collegio Oficial de Psicólogos de País Valenciá. No. 40. pp. 54–60.
Manrique, R. (1996). Sexo, erotismo y amor. Madrid: Ed. Libertarias.
Moultrup, D. J. (2005). Husbands, wives and lovers: The emotional system of the extramarital affair. Nueva York: Guilford Press.
Perel, E. (2017). The state of affairs: Rethinking infidelity. New York: Harper Collins.
Pinsof, W. M. (2002). The death of “till death do us part”: The transformation of pair-bonding in the 20th century. Family Process, 41, 35–157.
Pittman, F. (2003). Mentiras privadas. Bacelona: Amorrortu.
Scheinkman, M. (2005). Beyond the trauma of betrayal: Reconsidering affairs in couples therapy. Family Process, 44(2), 227–244.
Tatkin, S. (2011). Love and war in intimate relationships: Connection, disconnection, and mutual regulation in couple therapy. Nueva York: Norton.
Tatkin, S. (2013). Wired for love. How understanding your partner’s brain and attachment style can help you defuse conflict and build a secure relationship. Oakland: New Harbinger.
Tatkin, S., Adurman, E., & Kreuz, A. (2014). Clinical application of attachment theory in PACT couple therapy. Mesa redonda en el XXI IFTA Congress. Panamá.
Weiner Davis, M. (2017). Affair repair. Psychotherapy Networker. Recuperado de https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/article/1078/affair-repair.
Additional Bibliography
Allen, E. S., & Baucom, D. H. (2004). Adult attachment and patterns of extradyadic involvement. Family Process, 43(4), 467–488.
Baucom, D. H., Whisman, M. A., & Paprocki, C. (2012). Couple-based interventions for psychopathology. Journal of Family Therapy, 34, 250–270.
Brown, E. M. (1991). Patterns of infidelity and their treatment. Nueva York: Brunner & Mazel.
Burbach, F., & Reibstein, J. (2012). Focusing on couple therapy: Going forward. Journal of Family Therapy, 34(3), 225–228.
Special issue: Couple therapy. (2013). Family Process 52(1): 1–153.
Kipnis, L. (2003). Against love: A polemic. Nueva York: Pantheon Books.
Kreuz, A. (2006). La infidelidad en la pareja. En J. Navarro y J. Pereira (Comp.) Parejas en situaciones especiales. Barcelona: Paidós (edición revisada).
Kreuz, A. (en Prensa). Mal de amores. Duelo y transiciones vitales. IV Simposium del Observatorio del Duelo, Asociación Victor Frankl, Valencia, Noviembre, 2016.
Kreuz, A. (2018). Cap. 6: Terapia Sistémica con Parejas. En Moreno, F. A. (Comp.) Manual de Terapia familiar (Vol. 2). Bilbao: Desclee de Brouwer.
Linares, J. L. (2010). Paseo del amor y el odio: La conyugalidad desde la perspectiva evolutiva. Redes, 23, 11–22.
Manrique, R. (2011). Conyugal y extraconyugal: nuevas geografías amorosas. Madrid: Fundamentos.
Marrone, M. (2016). Sexualidad. La tuya, la mía y la de los demás. Madrid: Psimática.
Nelson, T. (2013). Case study, women who cheat: Understanding the message of the affair. Psychotherapy Networker. Recuperado de https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/magazine/article/183/case-study.
Pereira, R. (2014). Aida o las parejas en conflicto crónico. En: J. L. Linares & P. G. Semboloni (Eds.), La familia en la ópera: Metáforas liricas para problemas relacionales. Barcelona: Gedisa.
Pinto, B. (2005). Colisión, Colusión, Complementariedad en las relaciones conyugales. Universidad Católica Boliviana.
Sánchez-Benitez, J. C. (2008). Aplicaciones de la teoría del apego a la terapia sistémica de pareja. Redes, 20, 111–121.
Sandberg, J. G., Busby, D. M., Johnson, S. M., & Yoshida, K. (2012). The brief accessibility, responsiveness, and engagement (BARE) scale: A tool for measuring attachment behavior in couple relationships. Family Process, 51(4), 512–526.
Willi, J. (2008). Psicología del amor. El crecimiento personal en la pareja. Barcelona: Herder.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Corresponding author
Editor information
Editors and Affiliations
Rights and permissions
Copyright information
© 2018 Springer International Publishing AG, part of Springer Nature
About this chapter
Cite this chapter
Kreuz, A. (2018). What If There Is Another Person in His/Her Life? Infidelity in Couple Therapy. In: Pereira, R., Linares, J. (eds) Clinical Interventions in Systemic Couple and Family Therapy. European Family Therapy Association Series. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-78521-9_7
Download citation
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-78521-9_7
Published:
Publisher Name: Springer, Cham
Print ISBN: 978-3-319-78520-2
Online ISBN: 978-3-319-78521-9
eBook Packages: Behavioral Science and PsychologyBehavioral Science and Psychology (R0)