Abstract
This chapter discusses the practices and meaning of gift exchange (tǽgi) in relationships. It explores the entangling nature of gift exchange through a narrative that explores the life of the vested gift in couple relationships and highlighting that things that enter relationships intertwine with lives at personal, situational and temporal levels. Focusing on emotional work that goes into tǽgi practices, the chapter illustrates that such practices allow occasion to further the roles and dispositions my interlocutors have founded for themselves in their couple relationships as protecting and providing ayya and caring and demur nangi. The chapter closes with the suggestion that things that come into relationships in such a manner give couple relationships a sense of tangibility.
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Notes
- 1.
I did not get an opportunity to find out Jagath’s response or reaction to this gift, except for what Bileka told me. She explained that the new kind of gift both of them positively and said ‘he was surprised when he got it. It’s so different to the kind of gift I get him. He said he loved it. … He plays with the chimes whenever I call him’.
- 2.
As Yan (2005) points out, sentimentality is not a theme frequently touched upon in discussions of gift exchange in non-Western societies. Bileka’s references to notions of sentimentality here highlighted that it is a relevant and topical theme within gift exchange, pointing out that emotions associated with gifts make them deeply significant and personal, distancing them further from commodities, even if the gift object in question is/was once a commodity object.
- 3.
As it was pointed out in the introduction, most would describe this as an ‘arrangement’ where the woman and the man are introduced by parents. However, Nayana chose the categorisation of a ‘love relationship , explaining that their parents’ involvement was minimal in the making and the maintaining of their relationship .
- 4.
My emphasis.
- 5.
Note on circumstances of the break-up.
- 6.
Highlighting that it is not self-evident, intrinsic or simply economic, works of Appadurai (1986), Kopytoff (1986), Greary (1986) and Miller (2008) have brought it to our attention that value is a value-laden concept, which is shaped by the cultural and political environment it inhabits at a given moment.
- 7.
While govigama people place their caste at the top of it, some scholars have pointed out that caste hierarchy is a contested domain. See, for instance, the works of Roberts (1982) and Jayawaredna (2000) who describe the sociopolitical contexts that enabled the rise of the Karava caste, who at times claim to be the highest caste.
- 8.
Macaň language refers to speech splattered with a lot of Sinhala slang, which is considered impolite.
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Sirisena, M. (2018). Making It Real. In: The Making and Meaning of Relationships in Sri Lanka. Culture, Mind, and Society. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-76336-1_4
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