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Engaging Reluctant Adolescents and Their Parents

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Therapeutic Alliances with Families

Part of the book series: Focused Issues in Family Therapy ((FIFT))

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Abstract

Adolescents are typically not self-referred, and their developmental stage is characterized by a surge in autonomy seeking, from adults in general and from parents in particular. Quite often, the family therapy context is initially experienced by the adolescent as belonging to the world of adults/parents, and, indeed, in many cases parents view all the family’s difficulties as due to the adolescent’s attitude or misbehavior. The predictable result of this contradictory interpretation of the therapeutic process is a strong challenge to the alliance. In this chapter, we describe strategies for facilitating adolescents’ and parents’ engagement in conjoint treatment, which include (a) “rolling with” initial resistance and validating the adolescent’s subjective experiences, (b) fostering autonomy and individuation, (c) building systemic awareness by reframing the problem systemically, and (d) empowering the parental system. An extended case example describes, through excerpted dialogue, the difficult process of facilitating engagement in a challenging case in which the parents describe their adolescent daughter as “a problem for the family” due to her anxious and excessive use of her smartphone to continuously chat and monitor her social networks. This example illustrates the therapist’s interventions (e.g., dividing the time of the session to combine separate conversations with the adolescent and with the parents without losing the systemic focus) in order to reduce the adolescent’s defensive attitude and the anxious and blaming attitude of the parents. Key to building the alliance was “reframing” the problem by including the bidirectional effect of the parent-adolescent conflict and the couple’s relationship crisis.

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

Oscar Wilde

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Notes

  1. 1.

    Client refuses or is reluctant to respond to the therapist.

  2. 2.

    Client shows indifference about the tasks or process of therapy.

  3. 3.

    Family members validate each other’s point of view.

  4. 4.

    Therapist asks client(s) whether they are willing to do a specific in-session task.

  5. 5.

    Client expresses anxiety nonverbally.

  6. 6.

    Therapist draws attention to clients’ shared values, experiences, needs, or feelings.

  7. 7.

    Client refuses or is reluctant to respond when directly addressed by another family member.

  8. 8.

    Client shows vulnerability (e.g., cries); client varies her emotional tone.

  9. 9.

    Therapist asks one client (or a subgroup of clients) to leave the room in order to see one client alone for a portion of the session.

  10. 10.

    Client leans forward.

  11. 11.

    Therapist expresses empathy for the client’s struggle and normalizes a client’s emotional vulnerability.

  12. 12.

    Therapist expresses interest in the client apart from the therapeutic discussion at hand; therapist remarks on how his/her experiences are similar to the client’s.

  13. 13.

    Therapist draws attention to clients’ shared values, experiences, needs, or feelings.

  14. 14.

    Therapist expresses empathy for the clients’ struggle; therapist expresses confidence, trust, or belief in the clients.

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Escudero, V., Friedlander, M.L. (2017). Engaging Reluctant Adolescents and Their Parents. In: Therapeutic Alliances with Families. Focused Issues in Family Therapy. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-59369-2_3

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