Abstract
Living in a world of aging, sickness, death and uncertainty is daunting. How do we cope? This chapter explores how attachment to a particular outcome and/or way of viewing the world leads to the creating of identity and separation. This way of coping, especially as they persist and harden into habits or character, can limit flexibility be it in action, perception, or outlook. Acceptance, letting go of resistance to what is, releases one from particular identities, be it in the sense of characteristics or belonging to certain groups. The capacity to respond flexibly, one’s “response-ability,” is explored by considering reflective practices such as mindfulness and “unworldly practices” such as generosity and compassion. “Identity flexibility” becomes a bit of a contradiction or paradox. As one realizes greater and greater capacities to be flexible, there is less and less need for an identity and more ease in our hearts, minds, and lives.
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Notes
- 1.
There are many translations of this well-known opening. In one translation (Maitreya, 1995), “Mind is the forerunner of all actions. All deeds are led by mind, created by mind…” In another that I use in the opening (Byrom, 1993), “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world…” And (Thera, 2003), “1. Mind precedes all mental states. Mind is their chief; they are all mind-wrought…” So is it “actions,” “thoughts,” “mental states”? – Maria Heim (2014) solves it with this translation: “Mind is the forerunner of all things [my bold]. Mind is chief, and they are mind-made. If one speaks or acts with a wicked mind, suffering follows even as the cartwheel follows the hoof of an ox. Mind is the forerunner of all things. Mind is chief, and they are mind-made. If one speaks or acts with a pure mind, happiness follows even as one’s shadow stays near.” Within Buddhist psychology, these different terms are noteworthy. Nonetheless, each translation underscores both the centrality of mind and its initiating role (e.g., as in “forerunner,” “led by mind,” “arises with,” “precedes”).
- 2.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama (http://www.lionsroar.com/watch-the-dalai-lama-break-down-the-illusion-behind-prejudice/) said that on a fundamental level, we are all the same. At a second level, we find/even search for differences. It may be race, country, etc., and if these gross differences aren’t there, then we search for others. Is this a matter of tribalism or belonging? This would imply both safety and security. Is it just that we’re wired to see differences? And could those differences be used to feel superior or good about ourselves (at the cost of others) or to fuel any number of interpretations or stories about “how it is”? He says this difference seeking is the primary cause of our “man-made” problems.
- 3.
Delusion contributes in this example by thinking we are better off by being greedy. See Goldstein (2013), pages 218–219, for discussion on “Taking What Is Unsatisfactory to Be Happiness.” He says on page 219: “It’s said that after the Buddha’s enlightenment, he was moved to teach by compassion, because he saw all beings seeking happiness, wanting happiness, yet doing the very things that caused suffering.”
- 4.
Vedana is one of five aggregates or bundles (form, feeling (vedana), consciousness, perception, and “habits of mind” (sankhara which has many other translations such as fabrication)) which are assembled (much like a “chariot” is assembled) to form a mind moment. Goldstein (2013) within his section called “Mindfulness of Dhammas ” says: “In this light, what we call the birth and death of a person, of a being, of self, are seen as just the arising and passing of different aggregates. The power of the teachings lies in their directions for us to experience this for ourselves.” (page 172) This has important implications for identity, both in terms of its dynamic nature and flexibility, as will be discussed over the course of this chapter.
- 5.
Please note that I did not label this being “smug” as a “feeling” as I’m reserving that for the initial reaction – vedana – which is often translated as “feeling.”
- 6.
You may have noticed the inquiry as a contemplation based on R.A.I.N. (e.g., Brach, 2012; Chap. 5). They stand for: (1) recognize reality as it is, (2) allow or accept that reality, (3) investigate or inquire, and (4) non-identification, or, in the words of Ajahn Sumedho’s book title Don’t Take Your Life Personally.
- 7.
“Karma” is one of those overused and misconstrued words (e.g., “Karma is a bitch.”) now in our lexicon. In the Buddha’s time, the idea of cause and effect, that one’s actions have consequences for oneself, was radical in the sense that it infringed on the notion that desired outcomes could be influenced through the purchase, in essence, of various Brahmin rituals. As reflected in the Dhammapada quotations at the outset, the mind is key. Thus, even moreso than behavior, one’s volition behind the behavior is central to karma. This brings to mind a favorite Tibetan proverb: “Everything rests on the tip of one’s motivation.” This clearly points to the importance of ethical conduct and that cultivation of wholesome mind states is key. For a more in-depth discussion, see, for example, Goldstein (2013), pages 329–335. Karma is also discussed later in the chapter.
- 8.
Matthew Lieberman (2013), in his book Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect provides an evolutionary perspective on all this activity. This includes when we “think we are not thinking,” and in fact, our default mode network (sometimes thought of as a “self-referential network”) is quite active trying to figure out and wrestle with social interactions. It’s interesting to note that the brain is the biggest consumer of calories of all the organs in the body. An article by Mehrmann & Karmacharya (2013) provides another perspective on the default mode network which reflects more on its possible role in the “disease process” (page 10) in depression, anxiety, and other disorders. Perhaps this is partly why individuals may be a bit “freaked out” when they observe so much of such activities in the mind.
- 9.
Craving is a key concept to Buddhist psychology, and the critical insight of the Buddha is turning it off to end suffering. Leigh Brasington (2015a) explains craving as analogous to a light switch. There are many components to turning on the light – a functioning bulb and wire, power source, etc. The key is that this switch is all that’s needed to turn off or keep off the light. We don’t need to eliminate the power source, remove the bulb…we just need to keep the switch off or to turn it off. And craving, in relation to suffering, is that switch. (Sometimes, this is represented by the equation, pain x resistance = suffering. If there is zero resistance, then there is no suffering. Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional. When there is no resistance to experience unfolding (and thereby no craving), there may well be pain (e.g., the elderly Buddha’s back pain discussed later in this chapter) but no suffering. I believe this equation is attributed to Shinzen Young (http://www.shinzen.org/Articles/artPain.htm), and many meditation teachers refer to it.)
- 10.
Not only do they not change, they are likely to become that much more solidified by confirming our view of the world, influencing what we pay attention to, and how we perceive (label) that which we attend to.
- 11.
And here’s a good example of just how attached we can get, just how seemingly solid that foundation can be (Richardson, 2015 titled “Ballad of the Sad Climatologists”):
Scientists are problem solvers by nature, trained to cherish detachment as a moral ideal. Jeffrey Kiehl was a senior scientist with the National Center for Atmospheric Research when he became so concerned about the way the brain resists climate science, he took a break and got a psychology degree. Ten years of research later, he’s concluded that consumption and growth have become so central to our sense of personal identity and the fear of economic loss creates such numbing anxiety, we literally cannot imagine making the necessary changes. Worse, accepting the facts threatens us with a loss of faith in the fundamental order of the universe. Climate scientists are different only because they have a professional excuse for detachment, and usually it’s not until they get older that they admit how much it’s affecting them—which is also when they tend to get more outspoken, Kiehl says. “You reach a point where you feel—and that’s the word, not think, feel—‘I have to do something.’
Within my field, the concept of “neuroplasticity” faced substantial resistance. Sharon Begley in her book Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain recounts this resistance. This is but one example of our tendencies to resist paradigm shifts.
- 12.
There is a tension or trade-off between being a monastic and being what is called a “householder,” someone living in the real(?) world of jobs, kids, commuting, shopping, etc. While a monk or nun has the luxury of sustained and regular periods for formal meditation, there are not the same kinds of opportunities to confront the challenges of the householder life, especially the dynamics of interpersonal relationships as illustrated in this short case study.
- 13.
It can be useful to label habitual responses as “reactions” in contrast to “responses” which come out of mindfulness – the capacity to pause and reflect on what is unfolding and then opening to perhaps a range of responses. In my clinical work, I call this “being a PRO” (pause, reflect/relax, and open) which comes from Gregory Kramer’s work with Insight Dialogue (Kramer, 2007).
- 14.
To be complete in addition to sensual desire, there are also the desire for becoming and the desire for non-becoming. See Bhikku (2010) and for a concise summary http://www.buddhanet.net/4noble12.htm ).
- 15.
Dukkha is a keyword in Buddhist psychology. It is often thought of or translated as “suffering,” but this can be misleading. Another translation is “unsatisfactoriness” nicely illustrated by Goldstein’s (2013) discussion of mindfulness of the four postures on pages 57–58. In essence, if we pay attention, we’re often making adjustments to relieve pain, discomfort, or tension. Brasington (2015a) defines it as “not a lasting source of satisfaction.” If we’re not aware, these adjustments, strivings, restlessness… are endless and ultimately do not and cannot provide a “lasting source of satisfaction.”
- 16.
Lieberman (2013) in his book Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect discusses from an evolutionary perspective about how our “belonging” is more than just a psychological maneuver or defense. Belonging to the tribe, if you will, is fundamental to our sense of security. Oxytocin, the “love” hormone, while promoting affiliation, also promotes belonging within the group or tribe. It can thereby enhance a group member’s suspicion of outsiders, of those from other groups. Identity, to the extent it enables a sense of belonging, can be fundamental to our well-being and thus difficult to release.
- 17.
Laurie Hope (2010) has compiled a range of quotes from interviewees (including herself) and quotes from authors and others regarding how we relate to and learn from illness in her book The Unchosen Path. Her third chapter, entitled “Who Am I?” considers how illness compels us to look at the ways we’ve defined or identified ourselves and questions who are we really.
- 18.
Rinpoche.T, a meditation teacher, in the first chapter of his book Fearless Simplicity tells a story in which he freezes at the prospect of crossing a bridge. From this experience, he used the phrase: “Real but not true.” It is “real” on the relative level in that his body and mind reacted as they did based on his past conditioning but “not true” in the context of the present circumstances. My use of “real” and “true” in the main body of the text is different than how they are used in Fearless Simplicity. In case you read this book, my intention here is to clarify that difference.
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Rosenberg, J. (2017). Identity Flexibility and Buddhism. In: Sinnott, J. (eds) Identity Flexibility During Adulthood. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-55658-1_16
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