Attachment and the Transition to Parenthood

Abstract

In this chapter we discuss the transition to parenthood from the perspective of adult attachment theory. Attachment theory originated in the study of infants’ and children’s emotional bonds with caregivers. Several research groups have extended attachment theory into the study of both adults’ bonds of affection with particular relationship partners and their ways of relating to partners in general, called attachment styles. We focus on attachment styles and the way they relate to parents’ experiences during the transition. We first discuss attachment theory in general. Then we write about the problems that people with dysfunctional or insecure attachment styles encounter during the transition, and finally we present information about the change from insecure to secure attachment styles across the transition. The transition to parenthood is an interesting period of life for attachment theorists and researchers as it exposes the dysfunctional aspects of insecure attachment clearly. The most prominent dysfunctional effects of attachment styles arise among women who habitually fear that their relationship partners may abandon them or fail to provide support when needed (i.e., women with an anxious attachment style) and among men who typically shun intimacy and seek to maintain independence and autonomy in relationships (i.e., men with an avoidant attachment style). When they feel a lack of emotional support from their partners acutely, anxious women become deeply dissatisfied with their relationships. When they feel overburdened with responsibilities for childcare, avoidant men become equally dissatisfied. Perhaps the most interesting finding about the growth attachment security is that it can result from one’s own behavior, specifically one’s support for one’s relationship partner. We conclude the chapter with a discussion of new directions for the study of attachment theory during the transition.