Desire and Submission

Abstract

Dominant-submissive relationships, most notably among which is the sadomasochistic relationship, are a mystery, producing many unknowns. We could focus our attention on masochistic pathology in its strictest sense, as defined in contemporary psychiatric classifications (DSM-5, ICD-10, etc.). Nevertheless, there are other scenarios in which people and couples engage in sadomasochistic behaviour without negative functional repercussions or discomfort for the participants. Finally, we could consider the masochistic elements that appear, to a greater or lesser extent, in a wide variety of interpersonal relationships. The focus on this field is usually on the sexual component of the bond, but the masochistic elements obviously influence the relationship globally, going far beyond the sexual encounter. In this chapter we are going to focus on this last aspect: the dominant-submissive bonds within interpersonal relationships and, especially, in affective ones. Power, identity, gender, society, libido, and aggression all intertwine their paths to produce a tangle of influences, somewhat difficult to explore. Submission and desire are not antagonistic concepts but rather closely related.