Difficult Spouses/Difficult Ex’s

Abstract

Everyone thinks he is the reasonable one and that the other person is demanding, stubborn, and difficult to work with. Sometimes this is true and sometimes it is not. While we all feel justified in the actions we take, some spouses are truly obstructionistic and difficult. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have a spouse who can be reasonable about handling the divorce. Some people are too angry, immature, irresponsible, or untrustworthy.

Negative events don’t have to be responded to negatively.

Virginia Satir

He started his usual harangue, but this time I stood my ground. I kept saying that I wouldn’t talk about the past. I didn’t want to hear how it was all my fault. He went on and one about how I had done this or that, but I didn’t react. I kept repeating that all I wanted was to get on with the settlement as reasonable and fairly as possible. I realized his approval doesn’t matter anymore. He is more like something you just have to deal with, like the car breaking down or a bad day at work.

Ruth, separated 6 months