How to Talk So Your Spouse Will Listen

Abstract

How many times have you tried to talk to your spouse and gotten nowhere? You end up feeling shaky, incredibly frustrated, and, most of all, hurt. You started out trying to have a reasonable conversation. You hoped that this time it would be different. But somehow you wound up arguing over who gave more, who spent more money, who was more irresponsible, or who did the most around the house. Nothing was resolved and no matter what you were talking about, the past was invariably dragged into the discussion.

No one cares to speak to an unwilling listener. An arrow never lodges in a stone; often it recoils upon the sender of it.

St. Jerome

The anger that both of us felt made simple communication end in arguments. This continued until she remarried.

Greg, divorced 3 years

We tried to talk once a week without a third party, but it was almost impossible.

Pat, separated 3 months