The Absent Man

Abstract

Women are often puzzled and amazed as they watch their lovers and husbands wallow around, crash, and bumble in their relationships. They watch men they know compete with their fathers and yet try to please them. These men feel rejected or cut off from their fathers, friends, from themselves—and from women. Women look on with horror and astonishment as their husbands or lovers muck around with their own sons and compete with them, try to control and criticize, or attempt to mold them in some kind of image. This is painful for the women as well as the men. It is awkward for women as they try to discover what their role is in these situations, what they should do, and how they can help these men mend fences and find ways to communicate with each other. Women themselves also struggle with how to establish a relationship with these befuddled creatures.