Abstract
This book is largely concerned with one stance that it is possible to take towards the “self”—self-acceptance. However, it is possible to take a number of other productive stances towards the “self” and in this chapter, I will consider the relationship between unconditional self-acceptance (USA) and one of these other stances: self-compassion (SC). In doing so, I will draw upon the ideas of several major theorists in these respective fields. Thus, in discussing USA, I will draw upon the work of Albert Ellis (2005), Maxie Maultsby (1984), Paul Hauck (1991) as well as those of my own (Dryden, 2003); and in discussing SC, I will draw heavily on the ideas of Kristin Neff (e.g. Neff, 2003a). While this chapter is based on the proposition that it is best to develop USA before SC, I will argue that these two concepts can be integrated both conceptually and practically. It is my basic thesis that the two concepts augment one another and that a therapeutic strategy based on the two together will be more productive than one based on each alone. I will begin by defining precisely what I mean by unconditional self-acceptance and self-compassion.
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Notes
- 1.
This, of course, is an empirical question that needs investigation.
- 2.
In this chapter. much of what I have to say about USA is based on the views of Albert Ellis (2005), the founder of rational emotive behaviour therapy (REBT).
- 3.
It should be made clear here that mindfulness involves holding in balanced awareness negative thoughts whether these are realistic (albeit negative) or highly distorted without actively engaging with these thoughts. My point is that it is easier for people to be mindful of negative thoughts if they are a mixture of the realistic and the distorted than if they are predominantly highly distorted.
- 4.
Such attempts at self-change are facilitated when the person is able to tolerate the ensuing discomfort. This is known as discomfort tolerance.
- 5.
Most theorists in the field now distinguish shame from guilt and see shame linked to some global judgment of self and guilt focused on behaviour. I see them both as based on self-judgments where shame is linked to the idea that the self is defective, diminished or disgusting and guilt is linked to the idea that the self is bad in some respect (Dryden, 2012).
- 6.
I accept the point that clients may hold misconceptions about USA and SC and that these need to be addressed by their therapist. However, after such discussion clients may still hold doubts, reservations or objections to these concepts and these need to be taken seriously in jointly planning and implementing a therapeutic programme.
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Dryden, W. (2013). Unconditional Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion. In: Bernard, M. (eds) The Strength of Self-Acceptance. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4614-6806-6_7
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