Abstract
In this thought-provoking saga of falling madly in love, Mr. Hopes details the ecstasy and enchantment of his early encounters with Carolina. He was so smitten that he failed to look beneath the surface under the charm, the free-loving persona, and the physical attractiveness, to get to know very much about her family of origin, her belief system, what she would bring to and wanted from the marriage, and whether she “loved him” or was more interested in the stability, wealth, and good reputation he and his family could offer. Once married and after years of turning their home into a seeming free hotel for members of her family of origin, including one seeking political asylum, he became increasingly cognizant of the world his wife inhabited physically and emotionally and that it was far different than what she had presented when they were dating. However, since they had had a son within the first year of marriage and “family” is so important to him, he wanted to stay together for the benefit of his son.
When the long-term affairs she had been having could no longer be ignored and her temper flare-ups escalated, Mr. H indicates he knew it was time to go along with her idea of filing for divorce.
Now their teenage son lives with him most of the time by mutual agreement. His dreams and the short period of crazy love disintegrated. What he treasures now is his close relationship to his son, his parents and brother, and a new career, as well as a stronger sense of self, partly attributable to growth from good individual therapy. He is dating again, cautiously and selectively, and enjoying it – sanely.
This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.
Access this chapter
Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout
Purchases are for personal use only
References
Garcia-Preto, N. (1996). Latino families: An overview. In M. McGoldrick, J. Giordano, & J. K. Pearce (Eds.), Ethnicity family therapy (2nd ed., pp. 141–154). New York: Guilford.
Jacobson, G. F. (1983). The multiple crises of marital separation and divorce. New York: Grune & Stratton.
Johnson, W. B., & Murray, K. (2007). Crazy love. Atascadero, CA: Impact Publishers.
Kaslow, F. W. (1993). Attractions and affairs: Fabulous and fatal. Journal of Family Psychotherapy, 4(4), 1–34.
Kaslow, F. W. (2007). Post divorce relatedness between parents, their divorced sons, and their grandchildren: A pilot study. In C. A. Everett & R. E. Lee (Eds.), When marriages fail: Systemic family therapy interventions and issues (pp. 141–156). New York: Haworth Press.
Kruk, E. (2012). Arguments for an equal parental responsibility presumption in contested child custody. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 40(1), 33–55.
Lusterman, D. D. (1998). Infidelity: A survival guide. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.
Millon, T. (2011). Disorders of personality: Introducing a DSM/ICF spectrum from normal to abnormal (3`th ed.) 242–243. Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
Author information
Authors and Affiliations
Rights and permissions
Copyright information
© 2013 Springer Science+Business Media New York
About this chapter
Cite this chapter
Kaslow, F.W. (2013). Case 11 Mr. Hy Hopes: The Fallout of Crazy in Love. In: Divorced Fathers and Their Families. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4614-5535-6_12
Download citation
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4614-5535-6_12
Published:
Publisher Name: Springer, New York, NY
Print ISBN: 978-1-4614-5534-9
Online ISBN: 978-1-4614-5535-6
eBook Packages: Behavioral ScienceBehavioral Science and Psychology (R0)