Skip to main content

Broken Attachments: Relationship Loss From the Perspective of Attachment Theory

  • Chapter
Close Relationship Loss

Abstract

Loss is an integral part of close relationships. Death, estrangement, and geographical distance often separate us from those with whom we are close. Relationships are continually being constituted and dissolved. If we are truly to understand close relationships, we must not limit ourselves to studying them only during their constitutive phase but also throughout their natural cycle. As there is much to learn from studying attraction and relationship formation (e.g., Berscheid & Peplau, 1983; Berscheid & Walster, 1978), so there is much to learn from studying relationship dissolution (e.g., Duck, 1982; Hill, Rubin, & Peplau, 1976; Levinger, 1976; Weiss, 1975). As Lewin observed, it is when an entity is moving and changing that its dynamics reveal themselves most clearly (cited in Deutsch, 1954). And as Bowlby (1979) suggests in the title of one of his books, to understand human relationships we must examine both “the making and [the] breaking of affectional bonds.”

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution to check access.

Access this chapter

Chapter
USD 29.95
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
eBook
USD 39.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as EPUB and PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
Softcover Book
USD 54.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Compact, lightweight edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info

Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout

Purchases are for personal use only

Institutional subscriptions

Preview

Unable to display preview. Download preview PDF.

Unable to display preview. Download preview PDF.

References

  • Aberbach, D. (1989). Surviving trauma: Loss, literature, and psychoanalysis. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Ainsworth, M. D. (1967). Infancy in Uganda: Infant care and the growth of love. Baltimore, MD: Johns Hopkins University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: Assessed in the strange situation and at home. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

    Google Scholar 

  • Aron, A., Dutton, D. G., Aron, E. R., & Iverson, A. (1989). Experiences of falling in love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 6, 243–257.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Berscheid, E., & Peplau, L. A. (1983). The emerging science of relationships. In H. H. Kelley, E. Berscheid, A. Christensen, J. H. Harvey, T. L. Huston, G. Levinger, E. McClintock, L. A. Peplau, & D. R. Peterson (Eds.), Close relationships (pp. 1–19). New York: Freeman.

    Google Scholar 

  • Berscheid, E., & Walster, E. (1978). Interpersonal attraction. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bloom, B., Asher, S. J., & White, S. W. (1978). Marital disruption as a stressor: A review and analysis. Psychological Bulletin, 85, 867–894.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1953). Some pathological processes set in train by early mother-child separation. Journal of Mental Science, 99, 265–272.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1958). The nature of the child’s tie to his mother. International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 39, 350–373.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Vol. 1. Attachment. New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1973). Attachment and loss: Vol. 2. Separation: Anxiety and anger. New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1977). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. British Journal of Psychiatry, 130, 201–210, 421-431.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1979). The making and breaking of affectional bonds. London: Tavistock.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1980), Attachment and loss: Vol. 3. Loss: Sadness and depression. New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bretherton, I. (1987). New perspective on attachment relations: Security, Communication, and internal working models. In J. Osofsky (Ed.), Handbook on infant development. (2nd ed.) (pp. 1061–1100). New York: John Wiley & Sons.

    Google Scholar 

  • Bretherton, I., & Waters, E. (Eds.). (1985). Growing points of attachment theory and research. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 50(1–2), v–xi.

    Google Scholar 

  • Burgess, R. L. (1981). Relationships in marriage and the family. In S. Duck & R. Gilmour (Eds.), Personal relationships 1. Studying personal relationships (pp. 179–196). New York: Academic Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Campbell, A. (1981). The sense of well being in America: Patterns and trends. New York: McGraw-Hill.

    Google Scholar 

  • Deutsch, M. (1954). Field theory in social psychology. In G. Lindzey (Ed.), Handbook of social psychology. Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Duck, S. (Ed.) (1982). Personal relationships 4: Dissolving personal relationships. London: Academic Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Erickson, M. F., Sroufe, L. A., & Egeland, B. (1985). The relationship between quality of attachment and behavior problems in preschool in a high-risk sample. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 50(1–2), 147–166.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Fisher, H. E. (1987). The four-year itch: Do divorce patterns reflect our evolutionary heritage? Natural History, 10, 22–25.

    Google Scholar 

  • Freud, A., & Burlingham, D. (1943). War and children. New York: International Universities Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Freud, S. (1917/1919). Mourning and melancholia. In J. Strachey (1955) (Ed. and Trans.), The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 18, pp. 67–143). London: Hogarth Press. (Original work published 1917)

    Google Scholar 

  • Glick, I., Weiss, R. S., & Parkes, C. M. (1974). The first year of bereavement. New York: Wiley-Interscience.

    Google Scholar 

  • Goodwin, J. S., Hurt, W. C., Key, C. R., & Sarret, J. M. (1987). The effect of marital status on stage, treatment and survival of cancer patients. Journal of the American Medical Association, 258, 3125–3130.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Gorer, G. (1973). Death, grief and mourning in Britain. In E. J. Anthony & C. Koupernik (Eds.). The child in his family: The impact of disease and death, New York: Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hardy, T. (1912-1913). The going. In J. Gibson (Ed.), The complete poems of Thomas Hardy. (1976) London, England: Macmillan.

    Google Scholar 

  • Harvey, J. H., Orbuch, T. L., & Weber, A. L. (1990). A social psychological model of account-making in response to severe stress. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 9, 191–207.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hazan, C., & Hutt, M. J. (1989, October). Continuity and change in inner working models of attachment. Paper presented at the meeting of the Society for Experimental Social Psychology, Santa Monica, CA.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hazan, C., & Hutt, M. J. (1990). From parent to peer: Transition in attachment. Unpublished manuscript.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. R. (1987). Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52, 511–524.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. R. (1990). Love and work: An attachment-theoretical perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 270–280.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Heinicke, C. M. (1956). Some effects of separating two-year-old children from their parents: A comparative study. Human Relations, 9, 105–176.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Heinicke, C. M., & Westheimer, I. (1966). Brief separations. New York: International Universities Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Hill, C. T., Rubin, Z., & Peplau, L. A. (1976). Breakups before marriage: The end of 103 affairs. Journal of Social Issues, 32, 147–168.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Kiecolt-Glaser, J. K., Garner, W., Speicher, C., Penn, G. M., Holliday, J., & Glaser, R. (1984, January-February). Psychological modifiers of immunocompetence in medical students. Psychosomatic Medicine, 46, 7–14.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Kiecolt-Glaser, J. K., Ricker, D., George, J., Messick, G., Speicher, G. E., Garner, W., & Glaser, R. (1984, January-February). Urinary Cortisol levels, cellular immunocompetence, and loneliness in psychiatric inpatients. Psychosomatic Medicine, 46, 15–23.

    PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Kobak, R. R., & Hazan, C. (1990). Working models in marital relationships: The role of attachment in communication and relationship satisfaction. Unpublished manuscript.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kobak, R. R., & Sceery, A. (1988). The transition to college: Working models of attachment, affect regulation, and perceptions of self and others. Child Development, 88, 135–146.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Levinger, G. (1976). A social psychological perspective on marital dissolution. Journal of Social Issues, 32, 21–47.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lindemann, E. (1944). Symptomatology and management of acute grief. American Journal of Psychiatry, 101, 141–149.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lynch, J. J. (1977). The broken heart: The medical consequences of loneliness. New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Main, M., & Cassidy, J. (1988). Categories of response to reunion with the parent at age 6: Predictable from infant attachment classifications and stable over a 1-month period. Developmental Psychology, 24, 1–12.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Main, M., & Goldwyn, R. (1984). Predicting rejection of her infant from mother’s representation of her own experience: Implications for the abused-abusing intergenerational cycle. Child Abuse and Neglect, 8, 203–217.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Main, M., Kaplan, N., & Cassidy, J. (1985). Security in infancy, childhood, and adulthood: A move to the level of representation. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 50(1-2), 66–104.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Main, M., & Stadtman, J. (1981). Infant response to rejection of physical contact by the mother: Aggression, avoidance, and conflict. Journal of the American Academy of Child Psychiatry, 20, 292–307.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Main, M., & Weston, D. (1981). The quality of the toddler’s relationship to mother and father: Related to conflict behavior and the readiness to establish new relationships. Child Development, 52, 932–940.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Marris, P. (1958). Widows and their families. London: Routledge & Kegan Paul.

    Google Scholar 

  • Miller, G. A., Galanter, E., & Pribram, K. H. (1960). Plans and the structure of behavior. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.

    Book  Google Scholar 

  • Miller, S. I., & Schoenfeld, L. (1973). Grief in the Navajo: Psychodynamics and culture. International Journal of Psychiatry, 19, 187–191.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Norton, A. J., & Glick, P. C. (1979). Marital instability in America: Past, present, and future. In G. Levinger & O. C. Moles (Eds.), Divorce and separation. New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Palgi, P. (1973). The socio-cultural expressions and implications of death, mourning and bereavement arising out of the war situation in Israel. Israel Annals of Psychiatry, 11, 301–329.

    Google Scholar 

  • Parkes, C. M. (1972). Bereavement. New York: International Universities Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Parkes, C. M., & Weiss, R. S. (1983). Recovery from bereavement. New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Reedy, M. N., Birren, J. E., & Schaie, K. W. (1981). Age and sex differences in satisfying love relationships across the adult life span. Human Development, 24, 52–66.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Ricks, M. H. (1985). The social transmission of parental behavior: Attachment across generations. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 50(1–2), 211–227.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Robertson, J. (1953). Some responses of young children to loss of maternal care. Nursing Times, 49, 382–386.

    Google Scholar 

  • Robson, K. S. (1967). The role of eye-to-eye contact in maternal-infant attachment. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 8, 13–25.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Rosaldo, R. (1989). Culture and truth: The remaking of social analysis. Boston: Beacon Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Rubenstein, C., & Shaver, P. (1982). In search of intimacy. New York: Delacorte.

    Google Scholar 

  • Rubin, Z. (1973). Liking and loving. New York: Holt, Rinehart & Winston.

    Google Scholar 

  • Rubin, Z. (1974). Lovers and other strangers: The development of intimacy in encounters and relationships. American Scientist, 62, 182–190.

    Google Scholar 

  • Shaver, P. R., & Hazan, C. (1988). A biased overview of the study of love. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 5, 473–501.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Shaver, P. R., Hazan, C., & Bradshaw, D. (1988). Love as attachment: The integration of three behavioral systems. In R. J. Sternberg & M. L. Barnes (Eds.), The psychology of love (pp. 68–99). New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Shaver, P. R., & Rubenstein, C. (1980). Childhood attachment experience and adult loneliness. In L. Wheeler (Ed.), Review of personality and social psychology (Vol. 1, pp. 42–73). Beverly Hills, CA: Sage.

    Google Scholar 

  • Simpson, J. (1990). The influence of attachment styles on romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 59, 971–980.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Spitz, R. A. (1953). Aggression: Its role in the establishment of object relations. In R. M. Loewenstein (Ed.), Drives, affects and behaviour. New York: International Universities Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sroufe, L. A. (1983). Infant-caregiver attachment and patterns of adaptation in preschool: The roots of maladaptation and competence. In M. Perlmutter (Ed.), Minnesota symposium on child psychology (Vol. 16, pp. 41–83). Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

    Google Scholar 

  • Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A triangular theory of love. Psychological Review, 93, 119–135.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Tennov, D. (1979). Love and limerence: The experience of being in love. New York: Stein & Day.

    Google Scholar 

  • Vaughan, D. (1986). Uncoupling: How relationships come apart. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Waters, E., & Deane, K. E. (1985). Defining and assessing individual differences in attachment relationships: Q-methodology and the organization of behavior in infancy and early childhood.Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 50(1-2), 41–65.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Waters, E., Wippman, J., & Sroufe, A. (1979). Attachment, positive affect, and competence in the peer group: Two studies in construct validation. Child Development, 50, 821–829.

    Article  PubMed  Google Scholar 

  • Weiss, R. S. (1973). Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social isolation. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Weiss, R. S. (1975). Marital separation. New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Weiss, R. S. (1982). Attachment in adults. In C. M. Parkes & J. Stevenson-Hinde (Eds.), The place of attachment in human behavior (pp. 171–184). New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Weiss, R. S. (1988). Loss and recovery. Journal of Social Issues, 44, 37–52.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Young, J. Z. (1964). A model of the brain. London, England: Oxford University Press.

    Google Scholar 

Download references

Authors

Editor information

Editors and Affiliations

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

Copyright information

© 1992 Springer-Verlag New York, Inc.

About this chapter

Cite this chapter

Hazan, C., Shaver, P.R. (1992). Broken Attachments: Relationship Loss From the Perspective of Attachment Theory. In: Orbuch, T.L. (eds) Close Relationship Loss. Springer, New York, NY. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4613-9186-9_5

Download citation

  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4613-9186-9_5

  • Publisher Name: Springer, New York, NY

  • Print ISBN: 978-1-4613-9188-3

  • Online ISBN: 978-1-4613-9186-9

  • eBook Packages: Springer Book Archive

Publish with us

Policies and ethics