Incompatibility, Loneliness, and “Limerence”

  • Phillip Shaver
  • Cindy Hazan
Part of the Springer Series in Social Psychology book series (SSSOC)

Abstract

We have noticed, in ourselves and our acquaintances, a consistent pattern of feelings and behaviors that seem to appear as romantic ties dissolve. Excerpts from a recent conversation with a friend provide an example:

We [he and his wife of 15 years] have become so defensive we can’t talk to each other, we can’t hold each other comfortably … and lately I’ve been so lonely. I feel like I’m dying inside, and I’m not going to be able to take it much longer…. My stomach is bothering me, and even though I’ve moved into the guest bedroom, I’m having a terrible time sleeping… [Much later in the conversation:] Have you noticed how graceful and good-humored N [an attorney in his firm] is? She’s so undefensive, so open and free—just the opposite of my wife.

Keywords

Depression Lime Stein Boulder Metaphor 

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Copyright information

© Springer-Verlag New York Inc. 1985

Authors and Affiliations

  • Phillip Shaver
  • Cindy Hazan

There are no affiliations available

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