Family Problems After Divorce

Abstract

When conflict continues between parents after divorce, the parent who defines the cause of the problem often succeeds in deciding the remedy as well. Cause-and-effect explanations may justify a particular course of action but they are usually too limited to encompass the complexity of family relationships. Ending stressful access visits may appear to ease friction and let wounds heal, giving children and parents a chance to settle down. But this solution may meet the needs of adults rather than the needs of children and even the parent who wants a ‘clean break’ may find one set of problems has been exchanged for another. Broken links between family members affect the family as a whole, not only those who lose contact. A broken link may put more pressure on the remaining links, with the result that these suffer from overload and may burn out or fracture in their turn. Loss of contact with an absent father may draw children closer to their mother, but in some cases the relationship between the mother and one or more of the children becomes so strained that it eventually breaks down as well.