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Unconditional Love

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The Meaning of Friendship
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Abstract

In 375 ce, Augustine of Hippo — Saint Augustine — returned from the splendour of the Roman University at Carthage to his hometown of Thagaste, an outpost of farmers now called Souk Ahras in Algeria. A few years earlier, he had left as a pagan. He came back now a Manichean. This illegal sect that believed in the radical separation of good and evil was almost bound to appeal to the sometime student, now young teacher. It brought him not only philosophical certainty but also the fellowship of a cultivated group of friends. As he settled down to teaching in Thagaste he quickly found a new set of Manichean friends and established for himself a way of life that was a model of classical friendship — something we know about from the record he provides of it in his autobiographical Confessions:

All kinds of things rejoiced my soul in their company — to talk and laugh, and to do each other kindnesses; to read pleasant books together; to pass from lightest jesting to talk of the deepest things and back again: to differ without rancour, as a man might differ with himself, and when, most rarely, dissension arose, to find our normal agreement all the sweeter for it; to teach each other and to learn from each other; to be impatient for the return of the absent, and to welcome them with joy on their homecoming; these, and such-like things, proceeding from our hearts as we gave affection and received it back, and shown by face, by voice, by the eyes, and by a thousand other pleasing ways, kindles a flame which fused our very souls together, and, of many, made us one.

‘Because they love no one, they imagine that they love God.’

Thomas Keneally

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Further Reading and References

  • Maria Boulding’s translation of Augustine’s Confessions (Hodder and Stoughton, 1997) captures the remarkably modern feel of the autobiography. Peter Brown’s classic biography of the saint is called Augustine of Hippo: a Biography (Faber and Faber, 1967).

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  • The relevant sections from Kierkegaard’s Works of Love are usefully collated in Other Selves: Philosophers on Friendship, edited by Michael Pakaluk and published by Hackett (1991).

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  • As indeed are the key paragraphs from Thomas’s Summa Theologiae. For an examination of his philosophy and theology, Brian Davies’s The Thought of Thomas Aquinas (Clarendon, 1993) is hard to beat.

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  • The Kant lecture is in Pakaluk’s book too with an introduction.

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  • John Henry Newman’s sermon is in Parochial Sermons, Volume II, Sermon V, ‘The Feast of St John the Evangelist, Love of Relations and Friends’, published by Rivington and Parker (1843).

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  • Alasdair MacIntyre’s reflections come from After Virtue (University of Notre Dame Press, 1984).

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  • To follow up on Iris Murdoch’s idea of the good, see The Sovereignty of Good (Routledge, 1970).

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  • Few contemporary Christian writers have sought to reconcile friendship and theology at book length which is itself notable given the ink spilt on divine love. P. Waddell’s Friendship and the Moral Life (University of Notre Dame Press, 1989) and

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  • G. Meilaender’s Friendship: a Study in Theological Ethics (University of Notre Dame Press, 1981) are two that are often cited. For a latter-day Kierkegaard, see

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  • Anders Nygren’s Agape and Eros. Friendship and the Ways to Truth, by David Burrell (University of Notre Dame Press, 2000), weaves philosophy and faith together.

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  • Elizabeth Stuart’s Just Good Friends (Mowbray, 1995) approaches the issue from a lesbian and gay perspective.

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  • Stanley Hauerwas has an article ‘Companions on the Way: the Necessity of Friendship’, in The Ashbury Theological Journal Vol. 45 (1990): 1. My Postscript to Jeremy Carrette’s book Religion and Culture by Michel Foucault (Routledge, 1999), ‘I Am Not What Am’, offers a view of friendship through theological eyes.

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© 2010 Mark Vernon

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Vernon, M. (2010). Unconditional Love. In: The Meaning of Friendship. Palgrave Macmillan, London. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-0-230-27535-5_6

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  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-0-230-27535-5_6

  • Publisher Name: Palgrave Macmillan, London

  • Print ISBN: 978-0-230-24288-3

  • Online ISBN: 978-0-230-27535-5

  • eBook Packages: Palgrave History CollectionHistory (R0)

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