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Splitting the Difference

Gender, the Self, and Mental Health

  • Chapter
Handbook of the Sociology of Mental Health

Part of the book series: Handbooks of Sociology and Social Research ((HSSR))

Abstract

In her book, The Mismeasure of Woman, Carol Tavris tells a story about how men and women express love:

A friend of mine, who I will call Roberta, has been mildly unhappy for years about one flaw in her otherwise excellent husband, Henry. The flaw rises and falls in importance to her, depending on Roberta’s state of mind and general stresses, but it has long been a chronic irritant. Henry’s problem is that he doesn’t like to “chitchat,” as he puts it. This means, Roberta explains, that he doesn’t like to gossip about friends and family, he doesn’t like to analyze his marriage on a weekly or even a yearly basis, he doesn’t like to analyze his feelings.... Once, pressed to reveal his passion, Henry said, “I vote with my feet. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t be here.” Instead of killing Henry at that moment, which was her inclination, Roberta did what she usually does: She called a woman friend, and they met for lunch to discuss Henry. Several hours later, Roberta emerged refreshed, invigorated, and prepared to cope with Henry for another few months (Tavris, 1994, p. 246).

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Authors and Affiliations

  1. Institute for Health, Health Care Policy, and Aging Research, Rutgers University, New Brunswick, New Jersey, 08903, USA

    Sarah Rosenfield

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  1. Sarah Rosenfield
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Editors and Affiliations

  1. Department of Community Health Sciences, School of Public Health, University of California, Los Angeles, 90095-1772, Los Angeles, California, USA

    Carol S. Aneshensel

  2. Division of Sociomedical Sciences, School of Public Health, Columbia University, 10032, New York, New York, USA

    Jo C. Phelan

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Rosenfield, S. (1999). Splitting the Difference. In: Aneshensel, C.S., Phelan, J.C. (eds) Handbook of the Sociology of Mental Health. Handbooks of Sociology and Social Research. Springer, Boston, MA. https://doi.org/10.1007/0-387-36223-1_11

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  • DOI: https://doi.org/10.1007/0-387-36223-1_11

  • Publisher Name: Springer, Boston, MA

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