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This chapter discusses the relevance of so-called cosmic time functions for the philosophy of time. After an introduction to how these functions arise in general relativity given the homogenous and isotropic universe in which we live, there follows an analysis of what follows from their existence, and what does not. In particular, it will turn out that cosmic time functions are not suited to restore a global “now”. Finally, a further candidate often advanced as an argument for a privileged notion of simultaneity is discussed: the collapse of entangled wave functions in quantum mechanics. Again, however, a close look at this phenomenon reveals that it undermines, rather than saves, such privileged simultaneity.