Don’t Let Shame Become a Self-Destructive Spiral

Abstract

Steven, the VP Operations of a media company, was asked to give a presentation about their digital transformation program during the annual strategy retreat of its top hundred. As public presentations had never been his forte, Steven spent an extraordinary amount of time preparing for the event. But when it came to his turn, he had an anxiety attack, blanked out, and gave a very bumbling presentation. His audience left with a confused impression of the message he wanted to transmit. The next day, Steven was absent from work, citing health problems. Although he saw a doctor, the prescribed medication did little to change his state of mind. Subsequently, Steven went on extended sick leave. Friends who talked to his wife learned that she was at her wits’ end. She didn’t know what to do with him. Most of the time Steven sat in his study, staring out of the window, not interested in anything.

A man must not be without shame, for the shame of being without shame is shamelessness indeed.

—Mencius

Shame is a soul-eating emotion.

—Carl Jung