Skip to main content
SpringerLink
Log in
Book cover

The Palgrave Handbook of Male Psychology and Mental Health pp 483–507Cite as

Palgrave Macmillan

Of Compassion and Men: Using Compassion Focused Therapy in Working with Men

  • Chapter
  • First Online:

Abstract

The relationship between compassion and men is a fascinating, yet vexed one. This chapter will consider how typical male coping styles in response to distress, the status-seeking default mode of many Western men, and sex differences in parenting styles, can render men more vulnerable to having underdeveloped self-soothing abilities. This has potential negative implications for men’s mental health. The core principles of compassion focused therapy (CFT) are discussed, along with the growing evidence base for its effectiveness. Examples of the clinical application of using CFT with men are given, drawing on case illustrations of working with men in prison environments and men in an older peoples’ service, to show how specific challenges to men can be worked through with CFT.

This is a preview of subscription content, log in via an institution.

Chapter
USD   29.95
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
eBook
USD   189.00
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Available as EPUB and PDF
  • Read on any device
  • Instant download
  • Own it forever
Hardcover Book
USD   249.99
Price excludes VAT (USA)
  • Durable hardcover edition
  • Dispatched in 3 to 5 business days
  • Free shipping worldwide - see info

Tax calculation will be finalised at checkout

Purchases are for personal use only

Learn about institutional subscriptions

References

  • Allen, A. B., & Leary, M. R. (2010). Self-compassion, stress, and coping. Social and Personality Psychology Compass,4(2), 107–118.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Allen, A. B., & Leary, M. R. (2014). Self-compassionate responses to aging. The Gerontologist,54(2), 190–200.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Allen, A. B., Goldwasser, E. R., & Leary, M. R. (2012). Self-compassion and well-being among older adults. Self and Identity,11(4), 428–453.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Alzheimer’s Research UK. (2015). Dementia in the family: The impact on carers. Retrieved from https://www.alzheimersresearchuk.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Dementia-in-the-Family-The-impact-on-carers.pdf.

  • Battle, C. L., Shea, M. T., Johnson, D. M., Yen, S., Zlotnick, C., Zanarini, M. C., et al. (2004). Childhood maltreatment associated with adult personality disorders: Findings from the collaborative longitudinal personality disorders study. Journal of Personality Disorders,18(2), 193–211.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Baumeister, R. F., Bratslavsky, E., Finkenauer, C., & Vohs, K. D. (2001). Bad is stronger than good. Review of General Psychology,5(4), 323–370.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bear, G. G., Uribe-Zarain, X., Manning, M. A., & Shiomi, K. (2009). Shame, guilt, blaming, and anger: Differences between children in Japan and the US. Motivation and Emotion,33(3), 229–238.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bierer, L. M., Yehuda, R., Schmeidler, J., Mitropoulou, M. A., New, A. S., Silverman, J. M., et al. (2003). Abuse and neglect in childhood: Relationship to personality disorder diagnoses. CNS Spectrums,8(10), 737–740.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Blazer, D. G. (2008). How do you feel about…? Health outcomes in late life and self-perceptions of health and well-being. The Gerontologist,48(4), 415–422.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Bulmarsh, E., Harkness, K. L., Stewart, J. G., & Bagby, R. M. (2009). Personality, stressful life events, and treatment response in major depression. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology,77(6), 1067–1077.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Cochran, S. V., & Rabinowitz, F. E. (2000). Men and depression: Clinical and empirical perspectives. San Diego: Academic Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Connell, R. W. (2005). Masculinities (2nd ed.). Cambridge: Polity.

    Google Scholar 

  • Cozolino, L. J. (2002). The neuroscience of psychotherapy: Building and rebuilding the human brain. New York, NY: W. W. Norton.

    Google Scholar 

  • Craig, C., Hiskey, S., & Spector, A. The effectiveness and acceptability of compassion-focused therapy (CFT) as a psychological intervention in clinical populations: A review of the literature. Manuscript in preparation.

    Google Scholar 

  • Crewe, B. (2006). Male prisoners, orientations towards female prison officers in an English Prison. Punishment & Society,8(4), 395–421.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Depue, R. A., & Morrone-Strupinsky, J. V. (2005). A neurobehavioral model of affiliative bonding. Behavioral and Brain Sciences,28(3), 313–395.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Diamond, M. J. (2004). The shaping of masculinity: Revisioning boys turning away from their mothers to construct male gender identity. The International Journal of Psychoanalysis,85(2), 359–379.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Fazel, S., & Danesh, J. (2002). Serious mental disorder in 23000 prisoners: A systematic review of 62 surveys. The Lancet,359(9306), 545–550.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Feast, A., Orrell, M., Charlesworth, G., Melunsky, N., Poland, F., & Moniz-Cook, E. (2016). Behavioural and psychological symptoms in dementia and the challenges for family carers: Systematic review. The British Journal of Psychiatry,208(5), 429–434.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gale, C., Gilbert, P., Read, N., & Goss, K. (2014). An evaluation of the impact of introducing compassion focused therapy to a standard treatment programme for people with eating disorders. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy,21(1), 1–12.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (1989). Human nature and suffering. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (1993). Defence and safety: Their function in social behaviour and psychopathology. British Journal of Clinical Psychology,32(2), 131–153.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (1995). Biopsychosocial approaches and evolutionary theory as aids to integration in clinical psychology and psychotherapy. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy,2(3), 135–156.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2000). Social mentalities: Internal ‘social’ conflict and the role of inner warmth and compassion in cognitive therapy. In P. Gilbert & K. G. Bailey (Eds.), Genes on the couch: Explorations in evolutionary psychotherapy (pp. 118–150). East Sussex, UK: Brunner-Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2001). Evolutionary approaches to psychopathology: The role of natural defences. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry,35(1), 17–27.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2003). Evolution, social roles and the differences in shame and guilt. Social Research,70, 401–426.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2005). Compassion and cruelty: A biopsychosocial approach. In P. Gilbert (Ed.), Compassion: Conceptualisations, research and use in psychotherapy (pp. 3–74). London: Routledge.

    Chapter  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2007). Psychotherapy and counselling for depression (3rd ed.). London: Sage.

    Book  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2009). Introducing compassion-focused therapy. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment,15(3), 199–208.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2010a). An introduction to compassion focused therapy in cognitive therapy. International Journal of Cognitive Therapy,3(2), 97–112.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2010b). Compassion focused therapy. New York: Routledge.

    Book  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2014). The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. British Journal of Clinical Psychology,53(1), 6–41.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P. (2015, August 25). Compassion: Universally misunderstood. Huffington Post. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/professor-paul-gilbert-obe/compassion-universally-misunderstood_b_8028276.html.

  • Gilbert, P., & Choden. (2013). Mindful compassion. London: Robinson.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gilbert, P., & Procter, S. (2006). Compassionate mind training for people with high shame and self-criticism: Overview and pilot study of a group therapy approach. Clinical Psychology and Psychotherapy,13(6), 353–379.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Gilligan, J. (1996). Violence: Our deadly epidemic and its causes. New York: Putnam.

    Google Scholar 

  • Goleman, D. (2006). Social intelligence: The new science of human relationships. New York: Bantam.

    Google Scholar 

  • Gottman, J., Katz, L., & Hooven, C. (1996). Meta-emotions: How families communicate emotionally: Links to child-peer relations and other developmental outcomes. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.

    Google Scholar 

  • Harris, D. L., & Hiskey, S. (2015). Homework in therapy: A case of it ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it? The Cognitive Behaviour Therapist,8, 1–11.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Homan, K. J. (2016). Self-compassion and psychological well-being in older adults. Journal of Adult Development,23(2), 111–119.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Hosser, D., Windzio, M., & Greve, W. (2008). Guilt and shame as predictors of recidivism: A longitudinal study with young prisoners. Criminal Justice and Behavior,35(1), 138–152.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • James, I. A. (2010). Cognitive behavioural therapy with older people: Interventions for those with and without dementia. London: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

    Google Scholar 

  • Kingerlee, R. (2011). Conceptualising men: A transdiagnostic model of male distress. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice,85(1), 83–99.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Klimecki, O. M., Leiberg, S., Ricard, M., & Singer, T. (2014). Differential pattern of functional brain plasticity after compassion and empathy training. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience,9(6), 873–879.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lacey, J., Hiskey, S., & Andrews, L. (2017). Compassion focused expressive writing among carers of people with dementia: Some reflections. Faculty for the Psychology of Older People (BPS) Newsletter,139, 14–18.

    Google Scholar 

  • Laithwaite, J., O’Hanlon, M., Collins, P., Doyle, P., Abraham, L., Porter, S., et al. (2009). Recovery after psychosis (RAP): A compassion focused programme for individuals residing in high security settings. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy,37(5), 511–526.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Leary, M. R., Tate, E. B., Adams, C. E., Batts, A. A., & Hancock, J. (2007). Self-compassion and reactions to unpleasant self-relevant events: The implications of treating oneself kindly. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,92(5), 887.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • LeDoux, J. (1998). The emotional brain. London, UK: Weidenfeld and Nicolson.

    Google Scholar 

  • Leaviss, J., & Uttley, L. (2014). Psychotherapeutic benefits of compassion-focused therapy: An early systematic review. Psychological Medicine,45(5), 927–945.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Levant, R. F., Hall, R. J., Williams, C. M., & Hasan, N. T. (2009). Gender differences in alexithymia. Psychology of Men and Masculinity,10(3), 190–203.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Levitt, D. (1991). Gender differences in ego defences in adolescence: Sex roles as one way to understand the differences. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology,61(6), 992–999.

    Google Scholar 

  • Liotti, G., & Gilbert, P. (2011). Mentalising, motivation, and social mentalities: Theoretical considerations and implications for psychotherapy. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice,84(1), 9–25.

    Google Scholar 

  • Lloyd, J. (2014). Caring for people with dementia: Positive aspects, self-compassion and coping. Unpublished doctoral thesis, University of Warwick, UK.

    Google Scholar 

  • Logan, J., Hill, H., Black, M. L., Crosby, A. E., Karch, D. L., Barnes, J. D., et al. (2008). Characteristics of perpetrators in homicide-followed by suicide incidents: National violent death reporting system—17 states, 2003–2005. American Journal of Epidemiology,168(9), 1056–1064.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Lucre, K., & Corten, N. (2013). An exploration of group compassion-focused therapy for personality disorder. Psychology and Psychotherapy,86(4), 387–400.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Marshall, T., Simpson, S., & Stevens, A. (2000). Health care in prisons: A health care needs assessment. Birmingham: University of Birmingham.

    Google Scholar 

  • Martens, W. H. J. (2004). Moral capacities of antisocial and psychopathic persons. In D. C. Thomasma, D. N. Weisstub, & T. Kimbrough Kushner (Eds.), Variables of moral capacities, International Library of Ethics, Law and the New Medicine (pp. 250–280). Dordrecht: Kluwer/Springer Academic Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Martens, W. H. J. (2005). Multidimensional model of trauma and correlated antisocial personality disorder. Journal of Loss and Trauma,10(2), 115–129.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Martin, Y., Gilbert, P., McEwan, K., & Irons, C. (2006). The relation of entrapment, shame and guilt to depression, in carers of people with dementia. Aging and Mental Health, 10(2), 101–106.

    Google Scholar 

  • Martin, M., Staggers, S., & Anderson, C. (2011). The relationship between cognitive flexibility with dogmatism, intellectual flexibility, preference for consistency, and self-compassion. Communication Research Reports,28(3), 275–280.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Mascaro, J. S., Rilling, J. K., Negi, L. T., & Raison, C. L. (2013). Compassion meditation enhances empathic accuracy and related neural activity. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience,8(1), 48–55.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Masten, A. S. (2001). Ordinary magic: Resilience processes in development. American Psychologist,56(3), 227–238.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Maxted, A. (2017, April 16). Is treating yourself life a baby the key to happiness? Mail Online. Retrieved from http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4417136/Is-treating-like-baby-key-happiness.html.

  • Mirowsky, J., & Ross, C. E. (1992). Age and depression. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 33(3), 187–205.

    Google Scholar 

  • Moore, R. C., Kaup, A. R., Thompson, W. K., Peters, M. E., Jeste, D. V., Golshan, S., et al. (2015). From suffering to caring: A model of differences among older adults in levels of compassion. International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry,30(2), 185–191.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Morison, L., Trigeorgis, C., & John, M. (2014). Are mental health services inherently feminised? The Psychologist,27(6), 414–416.

    Google Scholar 

  • Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity,2(2), 85–102.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pace, T. W. W., Negli, L. T., Adame, D. D., Cole, S. P., Sivilli, T. I., Brown, T. D., et al. (2009). Effect of compassion meditation on neuroendocrine, innate immune and behavioural responses to psychological stress. Psychoneuroendocrinology,34(1), 87–98.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Panksepp, J. (2010). Affective neuroscience of the emotional brain mind: Evolutionary perspectives and implications for understanding depression. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience,12(4), 383–399.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Paulhus, D. L., Robins, R. W., Trzesniewski, K. H., & Tracy, J. L. (2004). Two replicable suppressor situations in personality research. Multivariate Behavioral Research,39(2), 303–328.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Phillips, W. J., & Ferguson, S. J. (2013). Self-compassion: A resource for positive aging. The Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences,68(4), 529–539.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Pollack, W. S. (1995). No man is an island: Toward a new psychoanalytic psychology of men. In R. Levant & W. Pollack (Eds.), A new psychology of men (pp. 68–90). New York: Basic Books.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pollack, W. S. (1998a). Mourning, melancholia, and masculinity: Recognising and treating depression in men. In W. S. Pollack & R. F. Levant (Eds.), New psychotherapy for men (pp. 147–166). New York: Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Pollack, W. S. (1998b). Real boys: Rescuing our sons from the myths of boyhood. New York: Random House.

    Google Scholar 

  • Raes, F. (2010). Rumination and worry as mediators of the relationship between self-compassion and depression and anxiety. Personality and Individual Differences,48(6), 757–761.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Rector, N. A., Bagby, R. M., Segal, Z. V., Joffe, R. T., & Levitt, A. (2000). Self-criticism and dependency in depressed patients treated with cognitive therapy or pharmacotherapy. Cognitive Therapy and Research,24(5), 571–584.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Ribeiro da Silva, D., Rijo, D., & Salekin, R. T. (2015). The evolutional roots of psychopathy. Aggression and Violent Behaviour,21, 85–96.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Robinson, R., Roberts, W. L., Strayer, J., & Koopman, R. (2007). Empathy and emotional responsiveness in delinquent and non-delinquent adolescents. Social Development,16(3), 555–579.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Sabo, D. F., Kupers, T. A., & London, W. (2001). Prison masculinities. Philadelphia: Temple University Press.

    Google Scholar 

  • Samaie, G., & Farahani, H. (2011). Self-compassion as a moderator of the relationship between rumination, self-reflection and stress. Social and Behavioural Sciences,30, 978–982.

    Google Scholar 

  • Seager, M., & Wilkins, D. (2014). Being a man—Putting life before death. The Psychologist,27(6), 404–409.

    Google Scholar 

  • Seppala, E. (2013, June 26). Are women more compassionate than men? Greater good: The science of a meaningful life. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/are_women_more_compassionate_than_men.

  • Shead, N. W., & Hodgins, D. C. (2007). Substance use disorders. In J. E. Grant & M. N. Potenza (Eds.), Textbook of men’s mental health (pp. 119–142). Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Publishing.

    Google Scholar 

  • Siedlecki, K. L., Tucker-Drob, E. M., Oishi, S., & Salthouse, T. A. (2008). Life satisfaction across adulthood: Different determinants at different ages? The Journal of Positive Psychology,3(3), 153–164.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Sim, J. (1994). Tougher than the rest? Men in prison. In T. Newburn & E. Stanko (Eds.), Just boys doing business? Men, masculinities and crime (pp. 100–117). London: Routledge.

    Google Scholar 

  • Smeets, T., Dziobek, L., & Wolf, O. T. (2009). Social cognition under stress: Differential effects of stress induced cortisol elevations in young men and women. Hormones and Behaviour,55(4), 507–513.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. (2002). Shame and guilt. New York, NY: Guilford.

    Google Scholar 

  • Tangney, J. P., Steuwing, J., & Hafez, L. (2011). Shame, guilt and remorse: Implications for offender populations. Journal of Forensic Psychiatry and Psychology,22(5), 706–723.

    Article  Google Scholar 

  • Thayer, J. F., & Lane, R. D. (2000). A model of neurovisceral integration in emotion regulation and dysregulation. Journal of Affective Disorders, 61(3), 201–216.

    Google Scholar 

  • Wells, A. (2000). Emotional disorders and metacognition: Innovative cognitive therapy. Chichester: Wiley.

    Google Scholar 

  • Williams, J., Stephenson, D., & Keating, F. (2014). A tapestry of oppression. The Psychologist,27(4), 406–409.

    Google Scholar 

  • Yarnell, L. M., Stafford, R. E., Neff, K. D., Reilly, E. D., Knox, M. C., & Mullarkey, M. (2015). Meta-analysis of gender differences in self-compassion. Self and Identity,14(5), 499–520.

    Article  Google Scholar 

Download references

Author information

Authors and Affiliations

  1. Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust, Norwich, UK

    Joanna Smith

  2. Northamptonshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust, Kettering, UK

    Sunil Lad

  3. University College London, London, UK

    Syd Hiskey

Authors
  1. Joanna Smith
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  2. Sunil Lad
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

  3. Syd Hiskey
    View author publications

    You can also search for this author in PubMed Google Scholar

Corresponding author

Correspondence to Joanna Smith .

Editor information

Editors and Affiliations

  1. UCL, London, UK

    John A. Barry

  2. Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust, Wymondham, UK

    Roger Kingerlee

  3. Change, Grow, Live, Dagenham/Southend, Essex, UK

    Martin Seager

  4. Community Interest Company, Men’s Minds Matter, London, UK

    Luke Sullivan

Rights and permissions

Reprints and permissions

Copyright information

© 2019 The Author(s)

About this chapter

Check for updates. Verify currency and authenticity via CrossMark

Cite this chapter

Smith, J., Lad, S., Hiskey, S. (2019). Of Compassion and Men: Using Compassion Focused Therapy in Working with Men. In: Barry, J.A., Kingerlee, R., Seager, M., Sullivan, L. (eds) The Palgrave Handbook of Male Psychology and Mental Health. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-04384-1_24

Download citation

Publish with us

Policies and ethics

Search

Navigation