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The Tango of Loving Hate: Couple Dynamics in High-Conflict Divorce

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Abstract

This article explores the dynamics of couples embroiled in high-conflict divorce through the theoretical prism of British object relations theory. Such couples are often characterized by primitive object relations, and use splitting and projection as a way of “being in the world.” The fear of the ex-spouse’s retaliation is accompanied by fear of their own destructiveness and a desire to make reparation; however, attempts at reparation at this level of relational functioning rarely achieve reconciliation. In fact, such dynamics create a cycle of terror, retaliation, and failed reparation attempts that in turn leads to further terror, splitting and projection, with the resulting outcome often a high-conflict divorce.

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Correspondence to Ziva Levite.

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Levite, Z., Cohen, O. The Tango of Loving Hate: Couple Dynamics in High-Conflict Divorce. Clin Soc Work J 40, 46–55 (2012). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-011-0334-5

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